SimplyComplexJen

First of all, to get to a 7am PAC breakfast, that means a 5am run on EASTERN time (I'm a CST kind of girl).

Then, the hotel gym and pool are only open 9am-9pm, so that means no weights or swimming while here, because frankly I'm working from 7am-11pm (yes, we finally finished our dinner at 11pm last night). There's only so many squats, situps, and crunches I can do in my room before getting bored.

Alcohol. There's a lot of it here. It's free. Everyone is doing it. Hard to resist "just one" glass of wine (because it doesn't seem to stop there). The first reception of the NGFA I did have tonic and lime with the intent to run later, but again, a late dinner with customers derailed that plan.

I know being "off" for 3 days wouldn't hurt a normal person, but I already get sidetracked from my planned workouts with just normal mommyness stuff that comes up. I swear that if it wasn't for lunchtime workouts, I would never be able to do this. Even those gets sidetracked by the activity the pays my mortgage. Some days, it's just too hard to leave the office and walk the 100 yards to the gym. I need to be better about walking away from 75 minutes. No one will die.

So, heading home today then my next challenge is not to be too sidetracked by my dad being in town for the first time in years. He'll just have to understand, and maybe even come run with me ;)

So, today wasn't a total loss. Up at 520, run 3.5 miles, PAC breakfast at 7am, then general session at 8am..... I'm on a roll!

(isn't it great that I can post this from my blackberry while listening to the blah blah blah of legislative concerns within our industry?)

I have a male employee that is just awesome in the office, but the poor soul will never live this down....

My assistant and I were talking about birthday cards for a customer who is turning 60, and he just randomly says, "I saw your rack. looks nice."

I bust out laughing and my assistant is laughing so hard she can't breathe.

Then realized I left my bike rack on the back of my car and that is what he was talking about.

**lmao**

He turned 20 shades of red and I couldn't stop laughing. I'm so Beavis.

I FINALLY get a "release" from the FDA for containers that have been detained almost 10 weeks. They have been tested for everything but cat urine. Do you want to know what the bottom of the release says?

These products are released. This notice does not constitute assurance that the product released complies with all provisions of the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, or other related Acts, and does not preclude action should the product later be found violative.

WTF?!?! Are you serious? Does not constitute assurance?????????????

How can you not be assured???

First customs sampled it and held it for weeks.

Then we had a 3rd party sample the container, neither us or our customer were allowed to open the container. Then we sent the samples to a 3rd party lab, approved by the US government for melamine and melamine derivative testing.

THEN almost a week after they get the negative results, they ask for a document (that ended up being 35 pages) on the procedures used to arrive at the negative results.

If it's an approved lab, don't you think they procedures used for that testing would be pre-approved?

Then a week AFTER they get the procedures we get the verbal ok. Then 24 hours finally the document with the disclaimer.

I swear I will go postal.

But, hey at least the Iraq war is going good.... [end sarcasm]

today she said to me, "Jen, you're the only person I know who teaches Bible classes and feels ok using the word fuck on occasion."

While I'm not proud of the fact I use the word (or a lot of the words that come out of my mouth... usually when talking to truckers it seems), I don't go around feeling holier-than-thou because I teach a Disciple class. I find religious humor funny.... if we can't laugh at ourselves.... then we need to lighten up.

I figure God knows where my heart is and if I want to tattoo myself, have multiple piercings, and shout HOT DAMN! when excited about something.... it STILL doesn't change where my heart is.

Our company actually received DEATH THREATS over the recalls. We don't even make the food! We're just brokers.

I'm always amazed at people who love their pets so much, they are willing to (threaten to) kill a human. Irony lost on anyone?

Business is almost back to normal. Some will be forever lost.

I was able to get a unique perspective on this. On one hand, I am a pet owner and logged into petconnection.com almost daily to get updates (sometimes they broke news faster than we were hearing it) and on the other, I have a business that it is my job.

I think the most disturbing accusations from those outside the industry was that "we should have known". But in our case, we don't even see the product... as brokers, we just handle the paperwork in between the two.

I'm still frustrated about the way it was handled. I lost what little trust I had in the FDA. I no longer (knowingly) buy Chinese food products.

I continue to lose money over this. Personally. It sucks and I can't do anything to stop it either.

The government put some near-impossible restrictions on Chinese protein imports to satisfy the public, but honestly what used to take 2-5 days to clear is taking almost 10 weeks. Do I think these restrictions are long term solutions? No. But maybe it makes some people feel a little warmer and fuzzier that our government is doing something.

You know what impresses me about petconnection.com? They didn't fall for the doublespeak. They were analyzing the press conferences and picking apart the timelines. Although they never figured out 2 of our 3 buyers (thank goodness), they were darn accurate on 90% of other information they had. (The commentors made some stupid remarks). There are so many things I thought I could contribute to the "fight", but how do you do that and maintain my position? You can't.

Daily I think : What did I learn from this? There is so much.... and maybe that is a blog for another time.

Last night in the car, my daughter started crying for no apparant reason. So, I turned down the radio and asked her what was wrong.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

"whys that, baby?"

" I want to spend time with you. "

"honey, you know mama has to go to work and you go to school. we can play together after school."

"but mama, that's not enough time. can you change your schedule and make time?"

::::: heart breaking :::::

Except for a 2 month vacation I took in 2003 (when we went to Germany), I have never been home FT with her. She should be used to this schedule, but obviously not. With her starting kindergarten next year, I'm fully aware this would be my last year to stay home with her but that's just not an option.

Among women, there is no quicker way to start a cat-fight than to say, "staying at home is better for your kids than working" or some variation of that. SAHMs (stay-at-home-moms) will accuse working moms of not caring about the welfare of their child and being femi-nazis (I thought feminism was about choice?). Working-Moms will accuse SAHMs of various sorts of things as well.

That completely random conversation with Abby though brings back a lot of guilt I have and a feeling of inadequacy that (for me) only comes from when I feel like I've let her down......

originally posted on July 27, 2006 on myspace.com

Ok, let me tell you.... somedays I have the best job (great for flexility) and some days the worst (when you shut down the plant of the world's largest poultry processor for 3 hours and it's 100% on you).

Let me explain to you, one of those days that fall between the extremes. Apparently, very few people (including my own customers) understand the huge world of agriculture (how we get bread on your table and food to Fido). As we are sitting in the middle of an apparent "drought", everyone wants to tell me the best course of action I could have taken to avoid the current shortages of certain commodities.

It is VERY imperative to understand that hindsight is 20/20 and your monday-morning-quarterbacking isn't getting your product to you any quicker. Get it???? When was the last time a monday-morning-quarterback won the superbowl? Yeah, that's what I thought.

A few customers have offered several solutions to the current supply problem, but unforunately are not grounded in reality. While I appreciate the "help", your quarterbacking and advice does not make it happen. If NO product is available, then how do you suggest I pull more supply out of my *ahem* ear???

Also, offering me more money for a product I do not have, and frankly may not be in existence (think : drought), also does not increase supply or your chances of having more product by next Wednesday. If you're pissed, sorry. I've kissed your ass, offered you substitutes (when applicable), but if it is the lowest supply we've seen in 17 years, then take my word for it.... you're not the only one going without.

I've been doing this 9 years. Not always well, and sometimes really well, but I know what the hell I'm doing. Back off. I don't have a secret supply, and I'm not giving it to your competitor because I'm trying to make your life miserable. IT DOESN'T EXIST!!! And as the year goes on, the problem will get worse.

It's a lot like the current situation with gas. Yeah, the price sucks and we're pissed, but why complaint to the QT cashier? I'm the cashier in the Ag world, but I have no control over supply, just like the QT-dude can't set the price of gas.

I'm not getting rich with the said venture. I make enough to pay my bills and give Abigail little adventures here and there (ballet lessons, swim lessons, trip to the zoo, and the occassional trip on a plane).

Quess what??? I also work commission, so if I can't ship you a product, I don't get paid. So trust me when I say, I'm working hard to find it for you.

So, when you decide to take it out on my about the drought and the lack of product you need, really, please, yell at God or some other person that you find is a little more directly responsible for the current situation than I am.

originally posted on myspace.com April 21, 2006

While reading this, you may want to refrain from drinking anything as it might it up on your monitor.

OK, it all started Thursday with a employee ripping my ass over what I determined to be a lot of ego problems he's having and with his lack of success, but I'll go into that at a later time. His 40 minute rant obviously made him feel better. And really, what 40-year-old man wants a 29-year-old-woman (despite the fact I've been trading 8.5 years) to "manage" him????

I went home that night with a migraine thinking I could sleep the day off.

Wrong.

My step-dad went into the hospital that night with severe dehydration and bronchitis (he has emphysema to begin with). I got about an hour of sleep at that night.

** migraine plus lack of sleep **

At 8am I am supposed to address " **unnamed employee** Concerns" but I chose not to because of lack of sleep. Now I am accused of avoiding issues. Well, I am not a happy person when I don't get my sleep and you know the saying.... "if you can't say something nice....."

At 11am I go to the Johnson County Courthouse to take care of an issue.... so I went and lost (long story short).

**sniffle sniffle**

I'm sitting on the square trying not to cry. I need to hurry and get out of Olathe so I can stop in and see how my step-dad was doing at Shawnee Mission Hospital...... and as I back out........

what the **Crash**???

Yes, I hit another car who was also backing out on the square. Luckily, damage was minor (my rear panel has a slight dent). Of course 1/2 of the Sheriffs Department was having lunch at the coffee shop on the square and had to come running out to inspect.

** crying **
** wondering how much my deductible is **

As determined by the 7 unformed Sheriffs standing there...... no report was necessary and we exchanged business cards

** wiping brow **
**crying harder than before (which makes me look like an ass) **

As I back away.... call my brother and he starts laughing his ass off and asks how much worse can your day get???

** feeling optimistic that the worst is behind me **
****** Murphey is laughing, but I can't hear him********

Go back to work and have to deal with angry employee who is giving me the cold shoulder.... WTF?

Day is almost over, the end is in sight. I have to go to my church class and frankly, I'm looking forward to seeing the other 9 people, they are a great group.

While driving to class I'm talking to a friend on the phone and Abby is in the backseat and suddenly yells out, "I think I'm going to puke". Either I or the person I'm talking to hangs up because, TRUST ME, you do not want to ignore a 4yo who says that.

We pull over and talk and she feels better, so we continue to church. As we are getting out of the car.....

** spirits lifting as I look forward to spending the next 2 hours with my small group **

......she gives me a weird looks and PUKES all down the DRVIERS seat. And then she started crying and pukes again.

** instantly breaks out laughing and reassuring her everything is ok ** (seriously at this point, THAT was the classic ending, not the car wreck)

I call her dad to come get her and bring me some towels and basically the rest of the evening was uneventful. After he picked her up and I cleaned up my car, went to class and was able to get 5 hours of sleep last night.

** still a little edgy from lack of sleep **


Today.... I believe the reign of Murphey is over. But I refused to say that outloud.

So, that really has to be the worst 24hour period of the last 6 months at least.

** laughing as I write this because my poor writing skills can not convey how bad of a day this was and the range of emotions I experienced**

So, next time your day is bad, bookmark this, come back and read it and realize that while my day COULD HAVE been worse, certainly, this ranks in the top 10 worst 24 hour periods of my life.

Have a great day.

Moral of the story : Do not tempt Murphey, he has a wicked sense of humor.

• two desks
  
• laptop computer
  
• two desktop computers
  
• a scanner
  
• a printer/fax/copier
  
• a cell phone
• A PDA
• a headset
  
• ten zillion loose CDs/DVDs and miscellaneous documentation packets scattered about
• not to mention all the personal pieces of technology, digital camera, video camera, etc.
  

Wanna know which pieces are on the fritz?

The ones I need to do my job. Yup. Somebody please shoot me. If i can't connect to the network while someone is calling me with a problem, what good is all that technology?

My cell phone, the one all my business calls forward to? Well, it dials nicely, and people can hear me loud and clear, but I can't hear a thing. If I hunch over with my hands clamped over my ears and around the phone, squeeze my eyes shut and do Kegels, I can just barely hear a gnat-like buzzing instead of my voice mail, my coworker, Mom, Mr. President, whomever.

Also? My laptop broke up with the wireless network last Thursday and won't even recognize it now. The IT guy and I have been over every byte of the damn thing and can't figure it out, so it's now all packaged up and waiting for the FedEx man (at least he's cute and it's an excuse to talk to a cute guy during the day - lol).

And I gotta tell you, there's nothing quite like realizing mid-installation that the serial codes are written on the CD. Mmm-mm.

*load*
*wait*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*type*
*type*
*type*
*click*
"Fuck!"
*eject*
*read*
*load again*
*click again*
*click again*
*click again*
*click again*
*type again*
*type again*
*type again*
*click again*
"Fuck a duck!"
*eject again*
*enter zeroes in place of the letter "o"*
*read yet again*
*load yet again*
*click yet again*
*click yet again*
*click yet again*
*click yet again*
*type yet again*
*type yet again*
*type yet again*
*click yet again*
*"Yessss!"

Well, you know where I'll be. I figure I'll be up and running just as the Chicago office empties for the night. But I'll be ready *just in case* I'm needed at 9:30pm again while watching a new episode of Medium (yes, I'm a 1hour drama junkie).

So, if you can't reach me on our 800#, my direct line, texting me, calling me on my cell or my home number, Im'ing me on yahoo, msn, or aol , or by any of my 3 email addresses...... chances are I'm just ignoring you. I have just enough connectivity to make me want to kill myself.