Friday, August 25, 2006
Whoa! When did this Happen?
Friday, August 25, 2006 | Original Musings by
Jen
.I'm old.
I went to register for school this week at UMKC ..... all the "kids" sitting at the counter at admissions were 18, and I felt like I was 80. I could just tell they were probably thinking.... she's too old to be here.
Truth be known I felt too old.
Also, I joined the PTO of where my daughter attends pre-school this week.
I also don't feel old enough to be there.
I'm doing a fundraiser for my daughters school. Yes, I'm one of those annoying people that will hit you up to buy an Entertainment book.
actually I probably won't. I'm too lazy to do all the ordering and collecting.
All of a sudden, I feel old. Moms are supposed to be older, wiser, wear "mom-jeans" and cut coupons.
ok, I cut coupons, but it's the combination of all the above. right? right?? please say yes.
Not uncertain about life, unorganized, and still looking for love (yes, in proably all the wrong places).
I can't be old, I was just at a party last weekend, where someone thought it was fun to bring jello-shots. I still like going to hear live music at the (old) Hurricane, Lawerence, etc.
I watch adult-swim for goodness sake!!!!! Those are cartoons.....
The PTO????? What was I thinking?
.
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Monday, August 21, 2006
Making Hissssssssstory........
Snakes on Crack.
Snakes on a Crotch.
Snakes on a Nipple.
Snakes on a Plane.
Whatever you want to call it.....
Let me start off by admitting I had zero interest in seeing this, but the person who picked it out wanted to see it badly, so I figure why not? He deserves it.
I have to thank my friend who convinced me to go.... he was right - it was great. I see a cult favorite in the making and I'll be able to say I saw it on opening night. I was expecting a "b movie" experience and it was no such thing.
I've never been to a theater where it was such an interactive experience.... the crowd cheered, they clapped, and all together said, "awe" at the right moment when the honeymooners were talking.
Other times the entire theater cheered and clapped:
- When the movie started
-When "Snakes on a Plane" appeared on screen
-When Samuel L. Jackson appeared on screen (Stay with me if you want to live)
-At the first sight of snakes
-When the plane took off
-When the first attack happened
-When the rest of the attacks happened
-When Samuel L. tazered the snakes
- When Samuel L. said "The Line"
-When the plane landed
- When the movie ended
What an amazing experience. Not a renter, you really need to grab a large group and go.
If you go see it, stick around for the music video at the end.... it's the best of the worst, yet completes the movie. I'm going to buy the soundtrack.
The fact it was the best selling movie of the weekend, is a big "f-you" to all the marketing execs and advertising types everywhere. They are always trying to figure out the demographics to advertise to, this movie was strictly internet-born and internet-fueled.
Rumor has it that Samuel L. took the script based on the name alone. Here is a small part of that interview:
Why do I care? Because I love SNAKES ON A PLANE. Love it. It makes me giggle like the fat, lazy schoolgirl I am.
3 Here's why:Some months ago my agent called me (we'll call him...Agent). Agent says: "New Line's got a project they want you to look at. They're making the movie. They love it. It needs a little work."Now when a studio tells you something needs "a little work" what that really means is "maybe it needs a little work, maybe it needs a lotta work, maybe you should tell us how much work it needs...but we want to make this movie so let's all just agree that no matter how much work it is, we'll call it 'a little work'".
I ask Agent the name of the project, what it's about, etc. He says: Snakes on a Plane. Holy shit, I'm thinking. It's a title. It's a concept. It's a poster and a logline and whatever else you need it to be. It's perfect. Perfect. It's the Everlasting Gobstopper of movie titles.
I say to Agent: "Tell me nothing else. Get me the script and put me on the phone with those lucky bastards at New Line Cinema!"
If that doesnt make you want to see it, how about this review from the NYTimes?
"Naughty by nature or perhaps more by design, these snakes don't just dart out of toilets; they also slide up bare legs and under dresses, moving in and out of more bodily orifices than the adult-film star Ron Jeremy did in his prime."
A few graphics for your amusement:
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
All together, everyone say.... "awe!"
Originally posted on myspace.com on August 16, 2006
Ok, I like to share when my daughter does things that makes me seriously consider my worth as a parent. Thoughts such as "if I was a good parent, she wouldn't do things like{fill in the blank the evil of the day}". We all know that is crap, but kids have a way of making you think that way.
There's a lot of great things going on in my life right now, and things like this only make it better (at least for the moment).
Last night when I tucked her in for the 4th time..... she kissed me on the forehead and said, "Mama, when I grow up, can you teach me to be a mom like you?"
:::: wipe tear :::::
I wish I would have had a video camera handy and would be able to show her that clip in 10 years when she screams at me, "I'll NEVER be like you!"
Ok, I like to share when my daughter does things that makes me seriously consider my worth as a parent. Thoughts such as "if I was a good parent, she wouldn't do things like
There's a lot of great things going on in my life right now, and things like this only make it better (at least for the moment).
Last night when I tucked her in for the 4th time..... she kissed me on the forehead and said, "Mama, when I grow up, can you teach me to be a mom like you?"
:::: wipe tear :::::
I wish I would have had a video camera handy and would be able to show her that clip in 10 years when she screams at me, "I'll NEVER be like you!"
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Mandela, Iraq, and a few thoughts (originally posted 08-10-2006)
originally posted on myspace on August 10, 2006
This was in 1951 (speaking to the Annual Conference of the African National Congress Youth League), it is almost as if he was anticipating todays nature of the war on Iraq.
Today, our government keeps us in a State of Fear. As I said in a previous blog, "Daily in the news we hear about our phone records being gathered, ease dropping without warrants, and even our library records. After the Patriot Act was passed, a book club I belong to will not keep your previous orders (supposedly) on record more than 90 days. Simply because if compelled, they would have to release those records. If they don't have them, there is nothing to give to the government. "
People sit back and allow these actions believing that it will be for the greater good of our country. If we allow our liberties to be taken away, is that not passively allowing the same type of government that we aggressively sought to destroy in Iraq?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
~ Benjamin Franklin(1706 - 1790)
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
~Thomas Jefferson to Archibald Stuart, 1791
Nelson Mandela wrote:
"Mankind as whole is today standing on the threshold of great events - events that at times seem to threaten its very existence. On the one hand are those groups, parties, or persons that are prepared to go to war in defense of colonialism, imperialism, and their profits. These groups, at the head of which stands the ruling circles in America, are determined to perpetuate a permanent atmosphere of crisis and fear in the world.
Knowing that a frightened world cannot think clearly, these groups attempt to create conditions under which the common men might be inveigled into supporting the building of more and more atomic bombs, bacteriological weapons, and other instruments of mass destruction. "
This was in 1951 (speaking to the Annual Conference of the African National Congress Youth League), it is almost as if he was anticipating todays nature of the war on Iraq.
Today, our government keeps us in a State of Fear. As I said in a previous blog, "Daily in the news we hear about our phone records being gathered, ease dropping without warrants, and even our library records. After the Patriot Act was passed, a book club I belong to will not keep your previous orders (supposedly) on record more than 90 days. Simply because if compelled, they would have to release those records. If they don't have them, there is nothing to give to the government. "
People sit back and allow these actions believing that it will be for the greater good of our country. If we allow our liberties to be taken away, is that not passively allowing the same type of government that we aggressively sought to destroy in Iraq?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
~ Benjamin Franklin(1706 - 1790)
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
~Thomas Jefferson to Archibald Stuart, 1791
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
You know you live in the US when....
You know you live in the US when we worry about our pets being fat.
The cover story for this weeks issue of PetFood Industry (yes, I do get to read exciting stuff for work) is:
originally posted on myspace.com on August 9, 2006
You know you live in the US when we worry about our pets being fat.
The cover story for this weeks issue of PetFood Industry (yes, I do get to read exciting stuff for work) is:
Really Sherlock??????
The article goes on to say that pets (specifically dogs in this article) that are obese have shorter life spans than those who aren't. Hmmmmm... who would have guessed? They also recommend that your dog get regular exercise. No more "The Simple Life" for Fido after dinner!
Humans have BMI to let us know if we're packing on extra pounds..... thanks to the Nestle Purina Pet Care Center, pets now have the BCS, Body Condition System. It's a method to tell if your pet is fat.
The concluding paragraph starts with, "You must remember, the most common cause of obesity in dogs is overfeeding coupled with inactivity." It goes on to urge manufacturers to educate consumers on portion control and clear feeding guidelines. Only in America are the pets as fat as their owners.
Do us all a favor, after you're done with your meal, why don't the both of you go for a walk? After all, man's best friend needs it as much as you I'm guessing.
Monday, August 07, 2006
War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength
We all knew Big Brother was here, but now it's even easier to access.
Wait until criminals get ahold of this and notice you're on vacation 3 states away.... time to come over and load up their van.
I know there's a joke in here somewhere about psycho-girlfriends, but I'm really too disturbed by this to make a light-hearted joke.
If we all don't start to put an end to what the government (and these cash greedy private firms) are beginning (the extermination of ANY privacy and rights we as American Citizens have) then the Orwell Novel 1984 will more than be fiction.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Mel's Passion for the Booze
originally posted on myspace.com on Aug 1, 2006
On one hand, I feel bad for celebrities. They have no privacy. Every little affair, drug rehab visit, prostitution soliciting and DUI arrest gets publicized. On the other hand, they get paid more than the GDP of most small African countries to (barely) entertain us. I figure the publicity is fair trade-off (most of the time). Deal with it.
Not many of us have to come out with a public apology for being arrested for DUIs. Personally, I have never been arrested for one (by luck alone I'll admit), but have picked up a few friends from the county hole for that reason. Let me tell you, they ALL act contrite and NONE of them were spewing hate-speech.
Mel Gibson has a problem. Not only has he admitted to being an alcoholic (which that in itself if not my beef), but obviously he's anti-semantic as well. The first clue should have been his S&M Jesus flick from a few years ago, but the second clue came this weekend during his arrest. He wasn't too
He was obviously drunk enough (0.12%) for his common-sense filter to be non-functioning (and admit it, you've been drunk enough for your filter to shut down too) and rant about how Jews have started all wars. Not to mention, he yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" to a female officer. Allegedly.
Because of his celebrity status and Americans infatuation with celebrities, it's important that we don't abandon Mel in his time of need. Despite being a sexist and racist, he does lead a virtuous and wholeome Catholic life. [if you missed the sarcasm here, please just hit back] Whatever you do, don't question his mental stability. Just agree with him. Otherwise, he might go into a mental state that makes him think making another Lethal Weapon sequel is a good idea (ok, I admit, I liked the first one). After all, if Sly can make a comeback **cough cough** with Rocky, so can Mel.
But before we jump to many conclusions based on tabloid reporting, we should have an independent source verify the information. Let's ask Mels dad. First, you always call your dad to bail you out, right? So, I'm sure he knows the details of the arrest. Secondly, his dad is known for his fountain of knowledge. After all, he's the one that convinced the world that the holocaust never happened.
On a lighter note, if you locked up Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson in the same padded room and did a celebrity death-match between those two crazies, who do you think would win?
On one hand, I feel bad for celebrities. They have no privacy. Every little affair, drug rehab visit, prostitution soliciting and DUI arrest gets publicized. On the other hand, they get paid more than the GDP of most small African countries to (barely) entertain us. I figure the publicity is fair trade-off (most of the time). Deal with it.
Not many of us have to come out with a public apology for being arrested for DUIs. Personally, I have never been arrested for one (by luck alone I'll admit), but have picked up a few friends from the county hole for that reason. Let me tell you, they ALL act contrite and NONE of them were spewing hate-speech.
Mel Gibson has a problem. Not only has he admitted to being an alcoholic (which that in itself if not my beef), but obviously he's anti-semantic as well. The first clue should have been his S&M Jesus flick from a few years ago, but the second clue came this weekend during his arrest. He wasn't too
He was obviously drunk enough (0.12%) for his common-sense filter to be non-functioning (and admit it, you've been drunk enough for your filter to shut down too) and rant about how Jews have started all wars. Not to mention, he yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" to a female officer. Allegedly.
Because of his celebrity status and Americans infatuation with celebrities, it's important that we don't abandon Mel in his time of need. Despite being a sexist and racist, he does lead a virtuous and wholeome Catholic life. [if you missed the sarcasm here, please just hit back] Whatever you do, don't question his mental stability. Just agree with him. Otherwise, he might go into a mental state that makes him think making another Lethal Weapon sequel is a good idea (ok, I admit, I liked the first one). After all, if Sly can make a comeback **cough cough** with Rocky, so can Mel.
But before we jump to many conclusions based on tabloid reporting, we should have an independent source verify the information. Let's ask Mels dad. First, you always call your dad to bail you out, right? So, I'm sure he knows the details of the arrest. Secondly, his dad is known for his fountain of knowledge. After all, he's the one that convinced the world that the holocaust never happened.
On a lighter note, if you locked up Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson in the same padded room and did a celebrity death-match between those two crazies, who do you think would win?
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