SimplyComplexJen

I put off the conversation last year.  I narrowly missed it this past Christmas skillfully distracting to other topics.  Unfortunately, I was ambushed today.  With tears. Real tears, the kind that usually accompanies words like "I think the fish is dead." or "remember that thing from India on the shelf you told me to never touch?".

I don't remember this moment in my life.  I do remember being told by the Kindergarten teacher not to tell the other kids.  I don't remember the real anticipation of seeing what Santa brought.  I also never heard the story of Santa and how he can be so much more than an elf in a red suit.  I wanted more for my little one.  Hopefully today, I put a story in her soul that she can share in 30 years with her tearful daughter asking for the truth.

Long before I had kids (and thought I ever would), I ran across a story about a Dad who shared with his daughter that The Spirit of Santa Doesn't Wear a Red Suit.  It was heartbreaking for the author too.  I'm not sure why the story stood out in my mind, but here I am 10+ years later reading the story to my daughter.

There is no ending to my story that talks about swimming lessons yet again, or my mileage logged for the week, or how in yoga my touched fingers in a pose I had never been able to before (yay me!!).  This is about the type of things that happen in between running, work, and all the other things that are on our neverending to-do list.

How did I smooth over  the broken heart of tonight?  Quite simply lots of hugging, a small glass of sprite, and letting her stay up 1/2 hour past her bedtime to watch an episode of The Simpsons.  It worked.  She is calm, and knows theSanta that is in her heart is shared every time she helps others, and is shared when she thoughtfully gives something of herself.  She came to the conclusion on her own that she can be Santa anytime she wants.... and promptly found me a toy to add to the Hope House pile growing in my room.

Yes, Santa is alive and well in our home long after the red-suited elf has died.